The World as I see It.

Suckin Honey Through a Straw

2011-12-01T21:32:00.001-06:00

A couple of weekends ago, I traveled to Waco, Texas to watch my beloved Oklahoma Sooners get kicked in the mouth by Baylor.

It wasn't a terrible trip. We toured the Dr Pepper museum and ate a lot greasy food.

On the way down, I spotted an In-N-Out Burger in the Dallas area. Not only was it a huge surprise, it brought back tons of memories of the 2 years I spent in California.

I remember when one of my roommates ate an 8 by 8 on a dare. Eight pieces of greasy beef with Eight pieces of cheese and a little bread. He actually got it down, but it didn't stay there long.

You can pretty much dare them to do anything. Heck, my brother in law actually drank a packet of honey through at Braums a couple of weeks ago for nothin. He was suckin on that straw so hard I thought his eyes were going to implode.

My favorite is actually the milk challenge. Drink a gallon of whole milk in less than an hour and then hold it down for 30 minutes.

Now I don't have the facts to back this up (borrowed this little quote from Herman Cain) but I hear it's physically impossible.

What I do know is that if you put food coloring in the milk and have a camera handy, you get some pretty gross pictures.

Arkansas Hoggers

2011-11-29T20:36:00.001-06:00

Let the idiocracy begin!

Yep, look it up. It ain't even a word, but I experience it first hand.

On a trip to Arkansas over Thanksgiving, I found myself in a flooded field, knee deep in water, standing in grass two feet over my head, with 5 dogs baying up a group of wild hogs.

I was clearly prepared in my Nike kicks, American Eagle jeans, and a red North Face rain coat (it wern't my arm and shoulders gettin wet).

At one point the dogs ran the hog right at us (I already had wet pants so I wasn't too worried).

About 1am the monster hog got tired and all 5 dogs jumped on it and tried to eat it. We ran (more like slashed) up to it and my brother in law yanked it off the ground by it's hind legs.

Chasing the thing was just half the battle. We then had to carry the 30lb pig for what felt like 10 miles through the swamp, up hill both ways.

To top it off, they wouldn't even let me eat it. Something about training the pups with it.

If you ask me, they should train the pups to catch it and bring it back between two buns with bar-b-Que sauce on it.

Never Shut It Down

Dig Dug and Medicine, like peas and carrots.

2011-11-15T21:12:00.001-06:00

Remember when we used to walk down to the convenient store to play Asteroid, Dig Dug, or Centipede?

It was the hot ticket for a few years until the Atari came out. Then, for around 100 bucks we got to take the thing home with us.

And now, their on our phone.

At the turn of the century, the town doctor would actually come to your house for a visit, but that was many clinics, hospitals, and urgent cares ago.

We've come a long way, I phones, Skype, and robotic surgery are all now affordable and easy to access.

What if we coupled some of these technologies together. Now, I'm not talking about picking up a phone, have a scalpel pop out, and your surgeon remove ear wax while he eats a ham sandwich on a beach in the Cayman's.

What is possible today is the ability to sit at your computer, answer a few questions, and get an antibiotic sent to and filled at your local pharmacy.

Some healthcare systems actually allow you to use a secure Skypelike video system to visit with your doctor. Imagine speaking with an MD from your clinic at 3 in the morning when you are actually sick and awake.

Many of us can't even schedule a clinic appointment after 5pm. Our only option is an urgent care or ER, which means long waits and big bills.

I say ramp it up. Give us what we want. If I can transfer money from my hometown bank in Oklahoma to my friend in Maine (from my android phone), why should I drag myself down to the clinic?

Dream big!

Never Shut It Down!

Marathon

2011-11-14T23:30:00.001-06:00

Nope.

This guy ain't runnin one and neither am I.

He's the old man from the hit Discovery Channel show "Gold Rush".

Nothin like doing a 6 hour marathon on my couch with a 12 pack of Diet Pepsi, a pack of soft batch cookies, and the hopes that this old dude pulls a 2 pound nugget from his "glory hole".

Yep. I watched it and can't wait til Friday when I get to watch the same 6 episodes again follow by an hour of new stuff that tells me everything I'll see for the next 15 min prior to commercial to come back after commercial and tell me again before I actually get to watch the thing they were telling me about.

Put the whole series together, take out the duplicates, and you've got about an hours worth of material.

I'm no runner, but I'm guessing a marathon feels a lot like that too. Minus the bathroom breaks.

Never Shut It Down

The Dream is Alive!

2011-11-13T20:26:00.000-06:00

It's official. The boy and I have our very own 67 Mustang. We bought it for $700. My older brother found it in Muskogee Oklahoma. We are anxious to get our hands on it and start dreaming.

Will post more pics and plans in the coming days.

Trust? It's overated.

2011-11-09T20:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I'm at work running from one meeting to the next when I get a text from my wife. She's at a fast food restaurant with my 9 year old daughter.

My daughter is one to say what she's thinking, but this one takes the cake.

After deciding she can't hold her soda any longer she tells my wife that she has to pee and not to eat her fries.

She heads off toward the bathroom, but makes a u-turn back to the table where she promptly dumps the fries on her tray and counts them out loud.

At this point, she looks her mother in the eyes and says "I'm going to count them when I get back".

And she did.

Trust? What's that?

Drive In

2011-06-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

So..........

I hate to say it, but at 36yo, I am really too young to remember the drive in theater.

I am sure I went a few times, and I have seen "Twister", so I have been aware that they exist for a while.

What I didn't know is that they are completely awesome.

We found this one in Woodbury, Mn. 3 movies for about half the cost of one.

They have some cool old video games inside and a snack bar that includes some delicious footlongs and killer burgers.

But get this, they actually let you bring in your own grill and cook up whatever you want. How sweet is that?

This year has been pretty tough. A lot of adult movies and not much for the kids.

I am totally stoked to see they actually have a PG-13 comic book movie this weekend "The Green Lantern".

I can already taste the burgers and popcorn. mmmmmmmmmm popcorn.

Never Shut It Down.

Another thing I hated when I was a kid

2011-06-15T19:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, so maybe just maybe I was picky.

Yogurt used to make me gag (and not in a cool way like when I used to stick my finger down my throat).

Why did we do that anyway? Ever touch your finger to your eye? Not cuz you needed to put your contact in, but because you thought it was cool.

I remember thinking that my eye was like a balloon and if I poked it, it would pop, or run down face. NOPE. Doesn't work like that.

Well, being on a diet makes you rethink what you put in your mouth, and lean protein is where its at. Hare boiled eggs = ok chicken? good if you cook it right.

Greek yogurt? Might be my new favorite.

At first there were a bunch of brands I had never heard of. Now they all make it.

Here's a tip. Take plain Greek yogurt and add a tablespoon of simply fruit jelly (or another brand jelly made with no added sugar). Huge taste, low calories, and all that protein will satisfy you like a Snickers never could.

Move over Betty White. Greek yogurt is the new Snickers.

Never Shut It Down.

Don't try this at home!

2011-06-05T20:49:00.001-05:00

I never built a model rocket as a kid. So when my son decided he wanted to, I jumped all over it.

So he says, "Dad, I don't want to just hand you stuff, I want to actually help".

A few misglued parts, a misplaced igniter, and an emergency trip to the "food store" (I love that term. My buddy from New Jersey says it. Reminds me of "the liquor shop" a quote from my daughter who knew we were almost home because she recognized that "liquor shop" down the street from us) and we ready for blast off.

Only one problem, the dang ole button to push didn't actually work.

We tried new batteries, banging on the side of it, stomping on it, and nothing worked.

So I channeled my inner Red Neck, pulled up the car, popped the hood, ripped the wires out of detonator box, skinned the wires with my teeth, and said "watch out kids".

A quick touch of the positive and negative on my car battery and 3...2...1 lift off.

It was so much fun we blasted it off 3 more times.

Sorry to have not worn the appropriate redneck "wife beater" and I haven't had the time to get my barbed wire tattoo, but I feel pretty good about how it all worked out.

Didn't nobody die!

Never Shut It Down

The best things in life are often free. Sweet Mustangs

2011-06-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

Every weekend my wife and debate about what we should do as a family. Movies, shopping, eating out; all fun but expensive.

My sister in law [((who is 13, man I feel old)) (learned that (()) fun little ditty in algebra (and all I ever heard in that class was "when will we ever use this? (in my best whiny tone)] (can't remember if I add before I multiply or divide it by pi)

{Geek out on this}
The pi song

Ok, where was I?

Oh yeah, my sister in law is in town, so she and my wife went to the movies. The kids and I went to the dollar theater and watched Rango. After stuffing ourselves with popcorn, m&m's, and of course diet coke we hopped (more like crawled) into the car and headed toward home.

And then I saw it. A 60's model Impala. Every Friday night in the summer, North St Paul shuts down the main street and has a car show.

I was sure the kids would hate the idea, but they were super excited. Guess what, they took the bait.

Every time we saw a Mustang, I would pull out my phone to take picture and they managed to get in every shot.

I then texted them to my older brother (who you may recall is total Mustang nut). Wish he could have been with us.

Add in some mini doughnuts (sold by a bunch of cheerleaders) some hand dipped ice cream, and a breezy 75 degree 0% humidity evening and I was in heaven.

Can't wait to get our own 67 Stang and do this every Friday (not sure what bait to use for my wife) Diamonds???????

Never Shut It Down.

Crazy Day in Stillwater Minnesota

2011-05-30T20:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we took a drive out to our favorite little town in Minnesota, Stillwater.

What a great place. It's right on the river and has one of those sweet lift bridges.

We almost always take visitors to eat at the 50's style hamburger joint, Leo's. They have the best cheese curds, chocolate Cokes, and bakery fresh hamburger buns around.

Our next point of interest is always the old fashion candy shop. mmmmmmmm chocolate covered everything.

Well yesterday, the river was about as flooded as I have ever seen it. The water looked to be about 8 feet below the bridge.

This little car/boat was driving down a sidewalk and then sped off under the bridge. I was pretty sure it was going to loose its fin. Too cool.

Here comes the interesting part. We walk across the street to the other side of the bridge and this girl (maybe 18) is headed to the water. My wife looks at me and says, "is she not wearing pants?"

And then I figured it out, she had a bathing suit on under a button down shirt which she quickly took off (the shirt, she kept the rest on).

We all (my family and about 50 other people) watched as she waded into the dirty, cold (I swear there was ice on that rive last month), flood waters.

It was the strangest thing I had seen in a while. she swam out to a brick pillar that was sticking out of the (did I say cold?) water and sat there staring off into the distance.

Passers by asked "Is that a mermaid?" Wish I had a picture.

I'd do it all again just for a basket of cheese curds!

Never Shut It Down

Trailerhood

2011-05-28T20:19:00.001-05:00

In third grade, I lived in Burlington Kansas.

Kansas has to be the windiest place I have ever lived. Flat and windy.

Some of you may have heard Toby Keith's newish song "Trailerhood".

My wife laughed the first time she heard the title because in Arkansas they always called it a trailer park.

Well, in Kansas, we lived in the trailerhood.

With all the wicked weather recently, it reminded me of time living in the trailerhood. The sirens went off (not that unusual) and I looked out the bay window of our trailer (sounds fancy huh?) and saw the twister.

I ran and told mom who had to come and look for herself. Should have seen the look on her face.

Now we'd all seen on the news how trailer houses and tornadoes go together like peas and carrots, so we decided to get in the truck and outrun it.

Looking back, it wasn't the best idea (though we did make it out safely).

It seems this year is going to be one for the record books and lots of folks are suffering.

Please take time to learn the rules of tornado safety, be careful, and help someone in need if possible.
Tornado information

Never Shut It Down

The World as I see It.: Worst advice I ever gave.

2011-05-25T21:17:00.000-05:00

The World as I see It.: Worst advice I ever gave.

Worst advice I ever gave.

2011-05-25T21:09:00.002-05:00

As some of you know, I was a cheerleader in college. After JC, I made the team at Northeastern State, but then turned down the scholarship.

Don't get me wrong, a $300 scholarship was a gift, couple that with being surrounded by young, hot cheerleaders and it might as well been a million bucks.

But, I had to eat, so I quit cheering and got 3 part time jobs.

One of my jobs was teaching the greatest form of cheer leading: PARTNER STUNTING.

Sometimes high school girls would call me up to help them make a tryout video to send to colleges.

On one particular occasion, I was approached by a senior from Fort Gibson, Ok to practice for tryouts. Believe it not Partner Stunting can be pretty dangerous, so we usually have a spotter to help catch the girls if they fall or rotate one too many times on a twist.

So I asked her to bring a friend to help spot.

Teddy was playing football at Fort Gibson, made a lot of tackles, and ran about 3.2 forty yard dash(at least compared to mine). He seemed pretty coordinated and strong enough to be a cheerleader, so I mentioned to him that maybe he might give it try.

Heck, he might even get a scholarship. I mean $300 is a lot of money.

Well, come to find out, he was a better football player than I thought. Went on to play for the Oklahoma Sooners, won a bunch of awards, and then got picked in the second round of the NFL draft.

I'm not saying I'm a bad judge of character, (hell, he could have been the Michael Jordan of cheerleading for all I know) but I think he made the right choice.

Boomer Sooner and Never Shut It Down

Snakes and Guns

2011-05-08T11:14:00.003-05:00

So this morning, I wake up in Mulberry Arkansas. Not really in Mulberry, like 5 miles outside of town.

Whenever I head south, I tend to forget my good eating habits and put on 10 pounds in a week.

So this morning I decided to go for a couple mile walk/jog. The weather is beautiful, no clouds, no humidity, and 75 degrees.

It's been a wet spring and the ditches along the roads have a few inches of water in them. I stare at the meandering water as I walk when I spot a long blackish figure in the water. A snake.

Of course, I need a better look, so I get as close as I can without stepping on it.

Crazy thing. There are actually 2 of them MATING. Now I've seen Lonesome Dove and I am thinking a big rolling ball of snakes are about to come up out of the water and pull me in. Nothin left of me but my shoes on the side of the road.

Didn't happen. But something about as crazy did.

As the snakes slither off into the grass, a red Chevy pickup pulls up, stops, and a guy rolls down the window.

He says hey and we exchange about 20 seconds of small talk (this must have established a meaningful, lasting relationship) I mention the snakes matin in the ditch, and he says "hell, shoot em".

This in and of it self was half expected, but

Then he reaches over in the seat grabs a pistol and tries to hand it to me.

Am I really that trusting? Your going to hand a stranger your gun in middle of nowhere!

To each his own. Just wish I had pictures of those snakes.

On the way back I checked to see if the were back. Sure enough they were at it again. I reverted back to my natural instincts (stupidity) jumped the ditch, found a stick, and tossed those snakes out of the water and into the road. Won't tell you the rest of the story, but I lived through it.

Never Shut It Down

Adventures in advanced carpentry

2011-05-01T18:40:00.004-05:00

Le Grill?

(click the link above to see the video)

Anyone who has read any of my blogs know that I'm not scared of much. View BlogShould be, but too dumb to learn from the time before.

In a past life, I built houses, churches, and pole barns. I really had no clue as to how or what we were building, but I could swing a hammer pretty hard and carry four 80 pound bags of concrete at a time.

So a couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were at Menard's (Yankee hardware store like Lowe's) and ran across a bunch of interior doors for 5 bucks. How could you pass up a $5 door? The wife says (in her sweetest voice, and biggest doe eyes), "we should install it as a pocket door".

Should "of" ran!

2 weeks, 1 bloody splinter filled pinky, and about $180 later, we have a functioning sliding pocket door for the basement bathroom.

My knees hurt, my nose and lungs are full of dust, and I have three garbage cans full of scrap dry wall and paneling.

Like I say, I've built things, lot of things. Heck, I ain't even scared, but if someone mentions pocket doors to you, I have one piece of advice. Just say no!

Oh, did I mention we bought 2 of them? Back to work.

Never Shut It Down.

A poem by my Daughter

2011-04-30T20:38:00.001-05:00

Meow Meow Monkey

Meow Meow Monkey sitting in a pot

Meow Meow Monkey cries a lot

Meow Meow Monkey sitting on a tree

Meow Meow Monkey, oops he sat on a bee!

Guest Blogger:

2011-04-30T20:33:00.000-05:00

A good family friend has been following my blog and thinking about her own sons. I am glad to hear I am not the only kid who pulled these antics and survived. Thanks for sharing friend.

We lived in the Arizona Mountains and the song "Over the River and Through the Woods" comes to mind because we had two ways to get home from the highway. The other way did not require crossing the river. I headed off to work at the hospital some 50 miles away one Thanksgiving weekend leaving my better half and my two sons to hang out for the day. The boys being young and curious, 7 & 8 years, wanted to walk on the icy covered river just for fun. After throwing a few rocks and determining that the rocks didn't break through they would be safe to venture out. The oldest isn't dumb so he bravely decided the youngest should go first and show him how to do it. Within a split second the brave young brother was nearly waist deep in the freezing waters below the ice. Older brother would have helped him out but there were two problems: first he was laughing too hard and secondly the younger had... CarHart coveralls on so now he weighed twice as much in the water bogged coveralls. Once he finally go himself out they needed to figure out how to go home without getting caught and possibly be in trouble for what had happened. Once again the oldest being all wise and brave thought if they walked around and played awhile longer his brother would dry off. Reluctantly they went home wet and cold after realizing it was too cold to dry. The only one who got in trouble that day was dad! When mom got home she was not happy he had let them out of his sight!

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. Don't tell Mom!

Never Shut It Down.

A Toast to a Friend We Will Not Soon Forget.

2011-04-14T20:56:00.000-05:00

When's the last time you had a banana split? How bout the time before that?

Well, it hasn't been long for me. And the time before that. Maybe the week before.

My family and I will be heading to a funeral for a dear sweet friend of the family this weekend. She was young (62) and about the nicest person you could ever meet. I already miss her and my heart goes out to her family.

In fact, I dread the trip except for 3 things: seeing my family, warmer weather, and Braum's banana splits.

How can I think of banana splits at a time like this?

Well, most of my memories of this wonderful lady involved food. The Thanksgiving diner at my grandparents that ended with me, my brothers, and her sons jumping in the nearly frozen water of the lime stone quarry pit (we spent the rest of the in grandmas sleeping gowns waiting for our clothes to dry).

The ham her daughter (my sister in-law) brings to Christmas every year. mmmm ham.

My wife decided a few weeks ago that we would find the best banana split in Minnesota. So we have been scouting local ice cream joints as well as large chain restaurants to find the best.

The kids of course love it. My young son knows for sure which one is the worst. "The pineapple chunks weren't even sweet, the best part was the ice cream as long as it was separated from the pineapple". My daughters favorite was a 50's style diner called Snuffy's Malt Shop. She liked that we picked out the ice cream flavors (the truth is we ate a brownie Sunday).

Braum's, though not in Minnesota, is currently the one to beat.

We are very sad to say goodbye to a wonderful friend, mother, and grandmother, but looking forward to spending another weekend with her children and making more memories.

We will miss you Pat.

Never Shut It Down

Ain't that a Kick in the Pants?

2011-04-12T19:41:00.000-05:00

I took Monday off to spend some time with my beautiful wife (I love my job, and have been spending a few too many hours there).

So of course we drive down to the Mall of America to visit her favorite store (QVC). For those of you who have only seen it on TV, the have 2 stores in the world. 1 in Pennsylvania and one Bloomington, Mn.

At least they did! On Monday we parked in our usual spot on the forth floor of the East Parking Ramp, rode the escalators down 3 floors, walked around the rotunda and then down another set of escalators. As we rounded the corner, my wife found her favorite store boarded up.

She was dazed and confused.

Then I read the words on the boards. "Mayo Clinic Coming Soon".

Ain't that a kick in the pants? They take away my wife's favorite store and replace it my employers competition.

I never thought I would say it, but I want QVC back.

Never Shut It Down

Man Rescues TV From Burning Building

2011-04-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

Have I ever mentioned how dumb I was as a kid?

Well this one probably takes the cake.

We've all heard about not running with scissors, but who would have thought I need to be told about running into burning buildings?

Up the road from my house was a severely decapitated apartment building. Not sure how or why one was built in the middle of nowhere, but it was there.

At least it was there until it burned down.

That's where I come in.

My Dad and I where driving to the store when we saw smoke and flames shooting out the building. Our instincts (though clearly not good ones) kicked in. We each ran into the different apartments checking to make sure no person or pets were in the building.

Pretty noble right? Risk my own life to save another.

Well, in the end, I came out with a 21 inch CRT TV. I was actually tempted to go back and save the toaster oven.

Glad I lived though it, and that my "rescue" didn't make the front page of the paper.

Never Shut It Down (or run into burning buildings)

News Paper Route was Never Meant to be.

2011-04-08T20:46:00.000-05:00

As a kid, I always wanted a newspaper route. I thought it would be fun to ride my bike around the neighborhood and throw papers.

Problem was, we lived in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't have possibly ridden my bike far enough to deliver 20 papers. It would have taken me 12 hours.

So when we moved to a trailer park in Burlington Kansas, my brothers and I got the brilliant idea to make our own newspaper and deliver it to our neighbors.

Once they got a look at our paper, they would want more and then we could make some real money.

So, we found some rubber bands and encyclopedias (when's the last time you pick up one of those babies?) and started ripping the pages out of them. We rolled them up popped on the binders and took off on our very own made up paper route.

And it would have worked too had it not been for our mother and those pesky neighbors (for those under the age of 25, follow this link http://scoobydoo.kidswb.com/)

Well, we got a butt whoopin for destroying books and a lecture on why the neighbors didn't want our crappy newspaper.

So much for the entrepreneurial spirit. Crush those dreams early.

Never Shut It Down

Small house? More like living in a Clown Car

2011-04-06T20:54:00.001-05:00

This picture has nothing to do with this story at all. Maybe you link it to the superhero reference at the end or even the fact that this room (dining room) is about 90 square feet, but it really has nothing to do with nothin. (We had just refinished the hard wood, thus no trim).

90 square foot apartment

I like camping as much as the next guy, but everyday for 3 years? You've got to be kiddin me.

The link above talks about a woman in New York who lives in a 90 square foot apartment. It saves money, is great for the environment, and probably keeps her of the couch (cuz she doesn't even have one). Something tells me she's never even had a Happy Meal.

Don't get me wrong, I love the magazine articles with the cute little houses in the woods or by the lake. Heck, sometimes I think I wouldn't mind trying it.

Then I remember: I've already been there and done that.

I the 7th grade, my dad got a job building a Nuclear ("Nuke you lur" for those W. fans out there) power plant in Texas (hook em horns, can't figure out how to turn this upside down, but you get the picture "Texas Sucks").

To save money, the family bought an 8 foot by 30 foot travel trailer. I'm not saying it was small, but you could sit on the toilet, wash your hands in the sink, and soak your feet in the tub all at the same time.

And to top it all off seven, yep 7, of us lived there. Think about it, if Dad laid sideways across the living room, his toes and fingers could touch each side.

One of my best memories living there was during an ice storm. The 2 doors faced North. We woke up and couldn't get the door open. It had about an inch of ice covering it. We weren't quite sure what to do, until Mom saved the day, She whipped out her trusty hair dryer (Superhero comic Idea? Hmmm) and melted us right out of there.

Not saying I'm spoiled, but happy to have outgrown our McTrailer.

Never Shut It Down

Victory Formation. Another Football Story.

2011-04-01T20:07:00.000-05:00

In the 9th grade, I moved from Glenrose Texas to Gore Oklahoma in the middle of football season.

Didn't really matter, the Tigers weren't that great and I had broken my ankle a few weeks earlier in practice (totally goofing off and got twisted up in pile). Had a cast from my toes to my butt.

I hated that cast. At one point I drilled a hole in the knee area and broke the cast so it would bend a little. When the PA took it off and replaced it with a shorter cast, he threatened to cut my leg off if I tried to destroy his cast (I believed him too).

On my first day of school during football practice, we watch game video from the night before.

The Pirates were pretty good and had smoked the team (can't remember who they played).

At the end of the game, Coach told them to take knee and run the clock out (you know the Victory Formation). So Bill QB got the snap takes a step back and then took a knee. My good buddy at left guard also took a step back and took a knee.

Coach thought this was the funniest thing he ever saw. I think we watched it 40 times.

It was a great introduction to Pirate football. Some of the most physical and fun times of my life.

Never Shut It Down.

You Hit Like a Girl

2011-03-30T18:49:00.001-05:00

First of all, this picture is a terrible representation of the story I am about to tell. I wouldn't blame you if you stopped reading now.

But, for those of you who stuck around, this is a great story.

I was pretty good football player in high school. What I lacked in size, I made up for with lack of speed (yep, I said it). Despite all that, I could tackle pretty well and a few folks thought I could block.

At 5'8" 190 lbs, I played left tackle on both offense and defense. I know, I know, I was huge.

My finest memory actually came in a practice. We had this play where Jason (right guard) and I pulled and cut across the right side (don't even ask me why, cuz I didn't know). Well this time I finally got it right. Kelly (playing on the scrub defense) was standing right in the hole.

I stuck the forehead part of my helmet directly into his face mask, and he went down like a lump of coal.

I stood over him for about 30-45 seconds until he woke up again.

So get this, he stands up and says, "you hit like a girl!"

I'm still not sure if he realizes he was knock out cold.

At this point I realize his face mask in hanging off one side. I actually hit him hard enough to simultaneously knock him out and break his face mask.

It's true. I hit like a girl.

Never Shut It Down.

Somebody Hates You

2011-03-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

I like to be liked. In fact, I spend a lot of time and energy doing things for folks because I like the feeling of being liked.

A part of me wishes everyone liked me, but I know it can't be.

Heck, even Maggie Simpson has an arch enemy.

Thinking back on it, I had a few folks who wanted to take a swing at me.

I was a pretty muscular kid in high school. Several kids even squared off with me and were ready to throw down the gloves and go. Luckily there was always someone nearby who cautioned them not to try me (I was really pretty wimpy and didn't have a clue how to fight. Glad I never had to.

Once, I wrecked my 67 Mustang while driving in some sleet. I left it on the side of the road and planned to trailer it home the next day.

When I got back, all 4 tires had been stabbed with a knife and my graduation tassel had been cut from the rear view mirror (I know, cool right?)

Ok, I got the message. Maybe you should of (I realize this isn't a word, but I love saying it that way) left me note, because I still don't know who you are or why you hate me.

Not everyone likes me. Big deal. Most days my wife likes me, my kids are almost not embarrassed by me, and sometimes I even like myself.

What more could I ask for? How about sending my tassel back?

Never Shut It Down

I don't want an I phone

2011-03-20T20:43:00.000-05:00

AT$T buying T-Mobile

I don't want an I phone. AT&T has been around forever and I haven't chosen them.

Looks like I am now, but not by choice. Thanks T-Mobile for selling out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against capitalism or even gaining market share.

I just dislike not having choices.

AT$T (yep did it on purpose) and Verizon have been in a pissing match for months. Not looking forward to supporting either of these causes.

Shut It Down.

Finally: someone who hates another team as much as I hate Texas.

2011-03-19T21:02:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I went to a couple of college hockey games. I didn't even know we played this sport in America until last year.

The first game was between the University of Colorado and Bemidji (give you a dollar if you can find it on a map). The first period (for some reason hockey is played in 3 halfs, go figure) was pretty awesome. Then is all went down hill and I almost fell asleep.

The second game was the fighting Sioux of North Dakota and Colorado College. The game which was played in St Paul, Mn, was littered with Sioux fan. At first I thought the fans must have stayed drunk from St Patty's day the night before, because the stands were covered in leprechaun green.

The Sioux were bigger, faster, stronger and completely hated by the Minnesota Gopher fans in the building. Not that they had a horse in the race. When I asked who the were rootin for, they would say, whoever is beating on the Sioux.

I don't get hockey. It's cold, the rules are weird, and they wear funny shorts over tights.

As an OU fan, I totally get hating the Sioux (ie Texas). Go anyone else.

Never Shut It Down

Best Sandbox Ever

2011-03-17T20:04:00.000-05:00

The house I grew up in had a large hole in the front yard. The plan had been to build a cellar there (Oklahoma , think of Dorthy.

It always looked like a swamp to me, and was sort of dug into the side of gentle sloping hill, so one side of it was a 2 1/2 foot drop to the water.

It was all fun and games until my little brother (the one who tried to catch the potato) waded out into it. When Mom saw him and decided he "could have drowned" (you couldn't kill that kid if you tried, hell I shot him with a potato gun) she had my Dad fill the hole with sand.

Some of you may have grown up with a sandbox. Unless you lived on the beach, it was nothing like mine. It had a 12 foot radius and was 3 feet deep. When the sand was wet, we dug tunnels through it. Not little tunnels, we could crawl through them (much safer than wading in two feet of water).

We also spent a fair amount of time running down the hill and jumping off the high side into the sand. It was a blast. Just had to watch out for the rocks that were mixed in.

My all time favorite was to build small villages out of some Mimosa tree branches that grew out of the banks of the hole. I would break the sticks up to build the frame and then use the leaves (they seemed like palm leaves as kid) to make a roof.

And then of course I would set them on fire. We had a can of "white gas" we used to pour on it. One time I spilled some on my hand and accidentally set it on fire. Pretty cool huh. Good thing I had that sand there. Just jammed my hand into the sand and the fire went out.

Pretty sure my kids will never get "The Best Sandbox Ever", safer to send them to swim lessons.

Never Shut It Down

My Superman Cape

2011-03-15T20:45:00.000-05:00

I have a really bad habit of trying to save the day. It gets even worse if the thing needing rescued is young, female, and cute.

Once in high school I came across a pretty young girl who had tried to buy a bag of chips, but they had gotten stuck between the little silver spiny thing and the glass.

This was my opportunity to be brave and win the girl.

Normally, I would have grabbed the top of the machine, pulled it toward me, and shook it until lots of candy came out (I'm not saying that I have done this, wink wink).

On this day though I chose to add a little style. I swung my hip into the glass to give it a little nudge. It worked. The chips fell free.

I also shattered the glass (at this point I thought about hiding, but there were about 40 witnesses), so I took myself to the principal's office and awaited my punishment.

Thinking back on it, the young lady never asked me for help. Not even sure she wanted it. I just stepped right up, barged right in, and played the hero (fell on my face, same thing really).

Never Shut It Down

Sledding Off the Barn Roof

2011-03-14T23:48:00.000-05:00

Growing up in rural Oklahoma, we had an old barn a lot like this one. My grandpa built it with the help of his family.

One spring a tornado or some type of strong wind lifted the barn roof off the poles move it over about 30 feet and set it back on the ground.

Being the adventurous (aka dumb) kids that we were, my brothers, cousins, and I used to climb on almost daily.

They coolest was when it snowed (yep we got snow in Oklahoma). When it snowed an inch or two, we would be out of school for a couple days. 3-5 inches guaranteed us a week.

We quickly figured out that the collapsed barn roof was an excellent sledding him. So we put on 3 pairs of two pairs of pants, and some jersey gloves and went sledding.

As you might imagine, it wasn't the safest thing to do. There was always the risk of it caving completely in, but there were also hundreds of nails poking up through the tin, sections of tin gone to which we could have fallen through, and the what was left of the barbed (bob ware) wire fence at the bottom. (I am getting pretty good at these run ons).

The snow was always really wet and soaked through our clothes. Couple that with the rips in our pants as we caught nail after nail on the way down. It didn't take long before we had enough.

I had the pleasure of tearing down and rebuilding that barn with my grandpa a few years later. I will always cherish the memory of that great man. I love you grandpa.

Nevershutitdown

Lexus Stuck in Automatic Car Wash

2011-03-13T19:19:00.000-05:00

I used to work with a doctor who seemed to always be getting himself in funny predicaments. For my purposes, we will call him "Dr Jimmy".

One day I came into the OR and the anesthesia provider "Bill" says, hey Jimmy, tell them what happened this weekend.

Dr Jimmy hemmed and hawed for a while and then proceeded to tell us about how he had taken his Lexus to the automatic car wash. When he pulled in, he got a little off track so he backed up and tried to straighten it out. After several attempts, he actually got the car wedged sideways.

If I remember correctly, he had to call a tow truck to come get him out.

We all had a great laugh to which Dr Jimmy replied "What? It's not like I've ever done anything like that before".

So Bill says, "remember the time you rented the backhoe?"

"I seem to remember that you got it stuck between two trees and we had to cut one of them down to get it out."

I'm pretty sure I peed myself.

Never Shut It Down

Old Enough to know Better, Still Too Dumb to Care

2011-03-12T20:59:00.001-06:00

Like most good Mormon boys, I went on a mission at the age of 19. I went to the exotic land of California.

Beautiful weather, beautiful women, and lots of good food.

As you probably know, Mormon missionaries work in pairs. In California, we were often shared an apartment with another set of missionaries. Four 19 to 21 year old boys away from home for the first time. What could possibly go wrong?

As a guy I worked for used to say,

A boys a boy, two boys is half a boy, and three boys is no boy at all. Pretty sure this is true and that four boys could basically bring down an entire city, religion, or empire.

I remember one summer in Bakersfield (temp was often 97 degrees at 11 pm) when four of us decided to build a mini hot air balloon out of a trash bag, some craft wire, and a fire starter (little piece of wood soaked in something flammable).

The idea was simple enough and one in the group had actually gotten one to fly in Utah or Idaho (not sure it has ever been 97 at 11pm in either of those states).

Well, at the time I was not a scientist, and getting the air in the balloon warm enough to become lighter than the 100+ degree temp we were standing in wasn't easy.

We started on the second story balcony and let it go. It barely cleared the parking garage and bobbed up and down a while prior to actually taking flight.

At this point we actually got scared as the glowing orange sphere floated over the dry, parched, forest fire primed city.

What if it crashed? Could they trace it back to us? Would it burn a building down? Would anyone die?

All good questions and questions that should have been asked prior to building, much less launching the balloon.

Well, all turned out fine and no one was hurt and we weren't arrested.

I am not exactly sure when a boy is supposed to grow up, but I do know it doesn't really happen until at least age 21.

Never Shut It Down

Layaway on Credit Cards: How Dumb Are We?

2011-03-12T08:08:00.001-06:00

Ok, don't judge me, but I was up last night watching Judith Ripka on QVC with my wife.

Fellas, it's not like I like jewelry or skin treatments, I like the way my wife treats me when I show some interest.

Occasionally I can't hold my tongue when the ladies at work are talking about this kind of stuff. Earlier in the week one of the girls was talking about curling her new hair extensions and I asked her if she got a "Chi".

"Oh no you didn't" was the reply. Then I spent the next 30 minutes trying to explain how I even knew what a Chi is.

This morning, my son wakes me up at the butt crack of dawn to watch cartoons with him. The commercial was selling an Air Hog UFO thing that you shoot at.

Don't get me wrong, I want one (total kid at heart), but they were selling it on 2 easy payments of $19.95.

Get to the point, what are you trying to say?

QVC does the same thing. Easy pay, Layaway, "we only have 500 of them left".

Come on people, your already paying with a credit card. Do you really need to break it into multiple payments?

If so, you really, really, really probably don't need it.

Now off to find my card and buy that thing before it sells out. Good thing it's on easy pay cuz my card is almost maxed out (just kidden, but seriously just kidden).

Never Shut It Down

Best Gator Gumbo and Pecan Pie I Ever Ate

2011-03-11T21:31:00.000-06:00

Photo by Shannon Barnes

I was looking through some pictures of an old friend on Facebook the other day. I manly man with a manly name (Shannon).

He was talking about getting back to jotting his thoughts down on a daily basis. I have to admit it is freeing to say what I am thinking.

As I was looking through some of his amazing photos I ran across this one an thought back to when I first got married. No kids, no money, a fewer worries.

My wife and I took off on a trip to Memphis. We wandered around until we found Beale St. I had been reading (yes I know how, barely) The Firm by John Grisham and thought Memphis would be fun to visit. A friend of my told me to check out the Rum Boogie Cafe if I ever made it there.

So we die.

Holy Hannah. They have the best gator gumbo (first time to try it) and pecan pie (definitely not the first time) I have ever eaten. The warm gooey center of the pie melted in my mouth, and I never wanted to leave.

We took in a few sights and even checked out the ducks at the Peabody. Not that we stayed there, because it didn't fit into our $50 a night budget.

If you ever get near Memphis, swing on by the Rum Boogie. They have tons of music memorabilia and if you stop at one piece, you won't regret the pecan pie.

Thanks for the memories and the awesome pic Shannon!

Never Shut It Down

I'm an addict

2011-03-10T20:29:00.000-06:00

Look around you. Know anyone who is addicted?

For those of you who know me or who have even seen me 3 days in a row, you know I am hopelessly addicted to Diet Pepsi.

Heck most of you have even noticed that it used to be diet coke until a few months ago when I switched out the blue.

That's not the only thing I am addicted to. I love chocolate (would kill for a zinger or ho ho right now). I have blogged for about 40 days straight, and I check my retirement fund daily (though I will probably never retire).

I'm not even ashamed of it. In fact it kind of bugs me others are less committed.

There is nothing I hate more than to start watching my Sooners play and hearing the announcers talk about how they could never be beaten by another college team, anyone in the NFL, or an army of Roman soldiers, and then have them completely recant when they get behind (Not sure I could have created a more perfect run-on sentence).

Make up your mind. Are they good or not.

How bout this one? Watched the stock market lately? The sucker is up 200 points one day with no ceiling. The next, gas rises 2 cents a gallon and we're having another black Monday. Really?

Don't even bring up the housing market. Throw a dart and pick a price. Just tell me what it's really worth and then tax me appropriately. At this point I don't know if I should remodel the kitchen or just leave the keys on the table and walk away.

Call me crazy, but I know what I like. I may like it so much it kills me (or knock out my gallbladder), but you know where I stand.

Never Shut It Down

God pays him to walk

2011-03-09T21:15:00.000-06:00

I have a buddy who walks everywhere he goes.

The man pulls down a respectable salary yet chooses not to own a car. He usually rides the bus to work and then hikes 6 miles home each day.

I'm not talking about when it's sunny and pretty. He walks in rain, snow, sleet, or 20 below zero (kind of like the mailman).

I took a trip to Duluth, Mn with him last summer. We walked so much that my feet actually started to bleed and I begged him to buy me some inserts for my shoes (longer story, but he actually carries cash on occasion and the shoe store didn't take my kind of money).

So we are eating breakfast one morning when I see him sneak over to the door and put his foot on something. When we walk out his has this poop eatin grin on his face. "What's up?" I say. He pulls a $20 bill out of his pocket and says he found it on the floor.

He says he actually finds about $100 a year (in cash) while walking. He's pretty sure God is paying him to walk.

Seems to me he might not even be making the 23 cents an hour I get from blogging.

He might want to renegotiate with the big man.

Never Shut It Down.

Apology. I am truly sorry.

2011-03-09T20:31:00.000-06:00

First of all let me apologize.

Some of you have listened to me ramble through 40 blog posts without once mentioning the University of Oklahoma.

Well that's about to change. Maybe it's the fact that the 2 feet of snow in front yard is melting, but I can already smell football season coming on.

I may be overestimating, but I think there are 2 or 3 college football fans in the State of Minnesota. Whenever I mention OU football, it's always followed by, "did you go to school there".

Nope! Not me, nor 3/4 of the State who watch Sooner Football religiously.

So I would never expect them to understand this symbol.

Or that I taught my then 2 year old son a very important phase,
"Texas Sucks".

But I'm rambling again. Today a fine bunch of folks that work with me gave me a great birthday present. 2 OU tee shirts and a lanyard to hang my badge on.

It almost brought a tear to my eye.

Never Shut It Down

Mom and Pop Shops: One good heart attack away from going under.

2011-03-08T21:14:00.000-06:00

Man, that looks good.

Many of us have our favorite locally owned doughnut shops, burger joints, coffee shops, barbers. One of my favorites is a 50's style burger joint in Stillwater, Mn named Leo's.

They make a mean burger, offer amazing cheese curds, and my all time favorite drink, the Chocolate Coke. The buns are made at a local bakery and are so soft on the outside and buttery toasted on the inside. Thick bacon adds just the right touch to this mouthwatering burger.

I have been frequenting it for 9 years. In that time it's changed hands no less than 3 times.

Folks always want to talk about how bad Wal-Mart and other big box stores are. "Shop locally" is the mantra.

I am here to tell you that you can't buy enough doughnuts, coffee, or burgers if/when John Q Mom or Pop has a heart attack.

Why?

Small business owners don't have great access to good cheap health care.

If they were bigger, (which we all seem to be against) they could negotiate better rates and possibly weather a major health storm.

Please continue to buy you bagel from your local small town deli, just don't be surprised when a bad case of pneumonia takes that option from you.

Never Shut It Down

Corporal punishment: AKA butt whoppin

2011-03-08T00:08:00.000-06:00

As a Senior in high school, I thought I was pretty cool. I drove a 67 Mustang coupe and wore a letterman jacket. That about says it all, right?

By my Senior year, I figured out it was fun to skip class.

One day in particular, I skipped most of the day, but then remembered I needed to make history class for a test.

So, I decided to go to class for one hour and then bolt. Since I was only going to be there a short time, I decided to park in the teacher's lot.

Big mistake.

After about 20 min of class, I got called to the principles office over the loud speaker.

Upon arrival, I promptly received a "swat" on the arse while walking in the door. Not one question asked. Just a cold hard paddle.

After explaining my intentions and promising not to do it again, I received a farewell "swat" on the way out.

Fairly sure those days are gone. And man were they fun.

Never Shut It Down

Used Car Salesmen Stink

2011-03-07T20:14:00.000-06:00

So it's time to sell my 98 Camry.

I buy and sell stuff on Craigslist all the time and figure that selling a great car for $2500 should be a no brainer.

Nope.

I got 10 emails from folks wanting me to look at everything from a Camry in Arizona to asking for my bank account number.

The one who took the cake? Dude calls me up and is really really interested. He even pulls a car fax after I give him the VIN number. He says he thinks the car is worth $1900, but he'll give me $2000.

He comes over, drives it, kicks the tires, and then offers me $1300.

Turns out he's a used car salesman. Tries to convince me it's for his girlfriend (she sat in the car the entire time watching us). Did he really expect me to believe she didn't want to look inside or drive it?

Wow, they really do get you coming and going.

Never Shut It Down

Man Almost Castrated by 900 pound Beast

2011-03-06T21:17:00.000-06:00

One snowy day in Eastern Oklahoma, my grandma and I went to the field to round up a yellow horned cow and her calf.

The mother was a cranky old cuss. The problem was her calf was small and couldn't figure out how to nurse.

So, grandma and I came up with a plan.

Grandma would drive the Ford 4610 (pictured below). My job was to scoop up the calf, run to the tractor, and jump in the bucket on the front. Grandma would then raise the bucket and mean ole momma wouldn't be able to get me.

I made it to the bucket with the calf in my arms, but thats when it all went bad.

Momma found me and wasn't too happy.

She scooped the calf out of my arms with her horns, tossed her head back, and the calf bounced once on her back and then hit the hard snowy ground.

I really didn't have too much time to worry about the little fellow as I suddenly had my hand, or crotch rather, full of mean yellow momma cow horns. She was trying to kill me or at least make me less of a man.

I finally broke free and found myself standing on top of the tractor squealing like a little girl (wish I knew someway to sound cooler here).

When I finally stopped crying, I noticed a slight breeze and chill up my leg. After further inspection, I realized she stuck her horn in my overalls at about the ankle and split them to about a half inch below my zipper.

We finally got momma and baby penned up and fed.

I was about and inch away of not having any kids to tell that story to.

Never Shut It Down.

How to make 23 cents an hour blogging

2011-03-05T21:50:00.000-06:00

I once worked for one of the coolest men in American. We built houses in rural Oklahoma. It was a hot and dirty job, but we had a blast (see my potato gun post).

One of the things he used to say to me was "son, your gonna dig dig dig for the rest of your life". Pretty sure I got my PhD in Shovel Mechanics working for him.

Well, I've branched out. Got a little geeky and started blogging. Wouldn't say I'm a good writer, but I am having fun and it's starting to pay off.

It's been about a month and time to reflect back a bit. 34 posts. I've learned about analytics, twitter, and making money by posting ads on my site.

My blog says I have 1500 page views and Google Sense says they owe me $7.94.

I admit that I am not an accountant, but the math doesn't seem to add up.

I probably spend an hour or so writing and geeking out each day on blogger. Multiply this times 34 days/posts and then do some long division ( I may have had some help with this part) and you get roughly 23 cents per hour.

I may need to start digging again.

Glad I didn't quit my day job!

Never Shut It Down

Road Trip (Redneck style)

2011-03-05T21:04:00.000-06:00

I live in a city where folks often refuse to cross the Mississippi River. A 30 mile trip might even require and overnight stay.

Well, I didn't grow up that way. We drove 30 miles to get groceries, went to church 15 miles away, and after 8pm the closest gas station was next to the church.

Driving a lot creates a need to own a dependable car, and I know of none more dependable than the Toyota Camry.

So, last weekend we upgraded our 98 Camry (180,000 miles) with an 07 Camry Hybrid. Great deal on a beautiful car. We've had it a week and were disappointed with the lack of miles we have put on it.

This morning we woke up with the intention of breaking it in. So unlike most folks I know around here, we packed up the car and took it on a Sunday (Saturday) drive.

A couple of hours later, we crossed the Iowa State line. Yep, Iowa (crossed a couple of rivers). Not that we were really going anywhere, we stopped at 2 or 3 gas stations, ate a Chinese Buffet (great for my diet), and like all good Oklahoman/Arkansawers stopped at Wal-Mart (sorry about the mispelling- my keyboard doesn't have the "star" sign).

She runs like a top. Gets about 38 miles a gallon.

The thing I love the most about pointless road trips is listening to the kids. When they're not fighting they are actually pretty cool. And, they can't get away from you. They are literally locked up and held captive the whole time in the back seat. It's a great way to catch up and check in with them.

The only thing that could have made this trip better would have been to eat hot dogs and tortillas or fried bologna sandwiches. Those were the good ole days.

Never Shut It Down

Live Longer: Work For This Company

2011-03-03T20:49:00.000-06:00

What if when you interviewed for a new job they not only offered you a good wage and a generous vacation package, but also offered you a better likelihood of living to age 95?

We currently see companies who understand work life balance. Others that make work fun and rewarding.

We are starting to see large employers securing health care through a single health care network.

You might say, "So what? They are just looking to cut out the middle man."

I don't think it's a far stretch to think that one of these companies will put two and two together and get 5.

Accountable care organizations have been charged with keeping individuals healthier while decreasing the cost of health care. What's the old saying?, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I see a day when employers partner with health care systems to keep their employees healthy and happy. Offering a health care plan (for traumatic accidents or unforeseen illnesses) and a gym membership will not be enough.

How would it work?
1. Employer contracts with Health Care System
2. Care System would be paid a pre set amount to care for each individual
3. Employees assigned care coordinator to manage their health
4. Nurse triage, virtual appointments, preventative reminders, health coach check ups provided at set intervals (think of the way your car dealership reminds you of car maintenance)
5. Closely manage chronic disease ie diabetes, obesity, asthma
6. Real incentives for/ access to gyms/ exercise equipment

Managing and maintaining health can be cost effective while detecting disease early.

Imagine the loyalty an employee would have to a company that ensured they were well paid, well vacationed, and extended their life expectancy.

I would move almost anywhere to work for them.

Never Shut It Down

Fickle Americans and Rising Gas Prices.

2011-03-02T21:06:00.001-06:00

Every time the price of gas rises, I hear people start talking about riding the bus, walking to work, and selling their SUV.

Then the price drops, the Hummers are back on the road, and nothing really changes.

I have even been there myself. Two summers ago, I traded in my parking contract at work for a bus pass. I managed to stick with the program for two or three months.

As the days got shorter and colder I quickly found out that I really wasn't that tough or committed to the cause I had taken up. I tossed the Metro Pass and cranked up my Camry.

Now that gas and I assume propane /natural gas is nearing a boiling point, I once again think about all those green things I hope to do someday (as long as they are easy).

Here's one for you. A straw bale house. These babies have an R value of 50 (really, really insulated), renewable (made from straw that we normally throw away or burn), and cost very little to heat and cool.
Check out this web page.
http://www.strawbale.com/

A few years ago, I did a bunch of research on these homes and hoped to build one. I haven't gotten around to building one yet. I think it would make a fine cabin or summer home.

Gas prices go up much more and I'll be dusting off my plans! (at least for a couple of months)

Never Shut It Down.

The Time Dad Stepped On a Skunk

2011-03-01T23:54:00.000-06:00

Every year for the last 8, I have planned a boys weekend trip to watch the University of Oklahoma football team play a road game.

I live in Minnesota while my dad and 3 brothers live in Oklahoma. We have been to Iowa State twice, Missouri twice, Kansas State, Baylor, and took one year off (cause I was mad and pouting).

They were all great trips, but I will never forget the first time we went to Missouri. Our Sooners were doing well. Missouri had Brad Smith at QB and while his quick feet gave us a scare, we won the game.

My dad had recently fallen in love with cell phones and often talked while paying very little attention to the anything around him. The foot traffic on the way into the stadium was thick. We had to cross a busy street and basically followed a whole herd of jay walkers to cross. A one point the crowd all made a detour, but dad did not. He was oblivious, talking away and walking straight ahead.

At this point we heard an Ewww and realized he stepped directly onto a dead skunk lying in the street.

His shoe must have absorbed every once of that skunks odor, because for the rest of the day all we heard was "do you smell a skunk?"

He went to the bathroom to try to wash it off his shoe without any luck (pretty sure this made it worse).

The good news is that no one would sit near us, so we had plenty of room to stretch out and enjoy the ~~fresh~~ (skunk filled) air.

He was not about to part with his 5 year old loafers. When we got to the van and refused to ride with him unless he threw the shoes away he instead tied them to the luggage rack.

What a memorable trip. Boomer Sooner.

Never Shut It Down

Reported to my Doc that I lost 50 pounds. He responsed "loose more"

2011-03-01T21:32:00.001-06:00

http://www.the17daydiet.com/

So about 7 months ago, I go to my Doc for a check up, hop on the scales and I weigh 249 lbs. The most I have ever weighed. Then they take my blood pressure and it's 154/97.
What the heck?

I mean, I'm a chubby 235 (my normal fat weight), but 250. Then comes a little mix up. Somehow my height got written as 5'2" instead of 5'8. An honest mistake, but it made my BMI like 1000.

My Doc, who is not afraid to speak the truth, looks at my wife and says "he either needs to loose some weight or you need to start looking for a new husband". Believe it or not that is exactly what I needed to hear.

So I went to a weight loss clinic and got on a plan. Over the next 6 months, I lost 50lbs and my blood pressure was 100/60. Wow was I proud of myself. I reminded my Doc of where I had been 6 months prior and that I had lost 50 lbs. He looked right at me and said "loose more".

Once again, I needed to hear it. I have since lost another 10 lbs and have a bit more to go.

Lately I have been on The 17 Day Diet. I am seeing great results and really enjoy the simple eating. Lots of chicken, turkey, yogurt, vegetables, and fruit.

I have dropped 6 pant sizes and my daughter can actually wrap her arms around my waist.

I am happy to report that my wife has stopped looking for a new husband.

Thank God for Docs who don't pull punches. 190.2 lbs this morning!

Never Shut It Down.

CDC has widgets? Who knew.

2011-02-28T22:58:00.000-06:00

I accidentally stumbled into the CDC website that has some cool widgets for your blog or website (I am such a novice). I was actually looking for a BMI index. I hope to be sub 190 tomorrow and am thinking I am about 10 lbs away from my goal.

Anyway, if you look to the right, I found a quiz on teen driving.

For any of you who have read my posts, you know I could have used this growing up.

Enjoy.

Stick to the plan. Stay the course.

2011-02-27T20:30:00.001-06:00

Took the boy to look at a 67 Mustang today. Straight 6 with 3 on the floor. The man selling it has a newer model 302 and 5 speed trani to go with it. He also has the 5 lug rear end out of a 67 Fastback. Would make a sweet ride with hard work and a little luck.

Though it doesn't look so hot here, the previous owner stripped the paint and the car has about 90% of the parts to put it back together.

$1500 bucks, without the V8 and 5 speed trani.

Gotta love a good project, but its seems everyone these days has one started taking up garage space and wants to get rid of it.

Not me. No projects here. I've only got the base board trim off in the kitchen, 5 interior doors to replace upstairs, the carpet ripped out of the basement, and about 10 other projects waiting.

Why do we continually try to convince ourselves that the we have room for another project. Heck, I don't even have a place to put this car running or not.

And
The boy says, "Dad, I thought we were going to drive it cross country. This won't be much of a trip".

So, back to work on the house, save more money, figure out some place to store it when we do get it, and most of all STICK TO THE PLAN.

No harm in dreamin', right?

Never Shut It Down

A Boy Named Sue (Shannon)

2011-02-26T21:26:00.001-06:00

Growing up can be tough. Being handsome with big muscles might make it easier (not that I am either of these), but some things are hard to overcome.

Like having a girls name!

Believe it or not, I have had this discussion more than once in my life.

Like the time I was at the Home Depot and teen aged boy looks me right in eye and says, "Sir, you can't use your wife's credit card." Oh yes he did.

Or how bout the time I tried to cash a check made out to my wife and I at the local bank. So the man says, "Are you Lacy or Shannon?" You pick was my reply.

Now that I live in Minnesota, everyone wants to know if I am Irish. I guess they think that would be a good reason to have a girls name.

At least I have my middle name right? Oh yeah, it's Dee.

Yep, Shannon Dee. Named after my mom's best girlfriend in high school. Could have been worse I guess. The wanted to name me Shannon Doah.

I actually met a movie producer once who said he had a brother with a name a lot like mine. I asked him what his name was. He pointed to his director brother's belt. Carved in the leather was the name Sharon.

Well Johnny (Cash), I am with you. I named my son anything but Sue or Shannon.

Never Shut It Down

Cookin beets in a witches pot.

2011-02-25T22:57:00.001-06:00

Know anyone who is a picky eater? Probably hard to top me as a kid.

My mom likes to remind me how picky I was. I was actually so picky that I would take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to our weekly outing to Pizza Hut.

Not just any PBJ. It had to be Jiff PB and grape or blackberry jelly mixed together in a bowl and then put between two pieces of white bread. (It's not a bad recipe, try it).

If I wasn't eating that, I wanted a can of Starkist Tuna with pickles on the side (You might be thinking it, but pretty sure I wasn't pregnant).

I can eat just about anything now and often do. Well at least I did until my most recent diet.

Ok, Shannon, get to the point. Why the pickled beets?

As a kid, we had a huge garden. Mom always planted beets. My favorite time of the year was harvesting and canning them. We cooked them in a huge cast iron witches pot. It must of held 40 gallons of water or at least it seemed that way to me.

It was so big we had to build a fire under it outside (think of the pot that Bugs Bunny is always being cooked in). We often threw an old tire on the fire to get the water really hot. Plumes of black smoke would roll off that fire. I am sure folks could saw it from miles away and wondered "what are those rednecks up to?"

Anyway, after boiling the beets mom would cut them up, pickle em, and put them in jars. They were really quite handsome in those jars. Of course I wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

I've grown up (and out) a bit since them. My wife actually make a mean red cabbage and beet soup. Add a little sour cream or Greek yogurt and I'm in heaven.

Wonder were I could get my hands on some of those beets!

Never Shut It Down

Hot wiring my own car:

2011-02-24T21:02:00.001-06:00

I had a lot of great times in my 67 Mustang. Above and beyond that, the car afforded me many great stories.

Did I ever tell you about the time I was driving up the curvy hills of Lake Tenkiller in Eastern Oklahoma?

Well my headlights went out while driving at night. The stars weren't very bright and there was no moon shining. After getting the car stopped without incident, I tried to get them to turn back on without any luck.

I was only about 5 miles from home and didn't have (or even own) a cell phone. So I put my little 17 year old brain to work and came up with a brilliant idea. I turned on the dome light, opened the door and began to follow the white line in the center of the road.

In my mind, I knew those roads well enough to drive with my eyes closed. Well I quickly ran off the left side of the road. Before I could correct my course, the drivers side door (which was held open by me) hit a sign. The door closed quickly and nearly broke my wrist.

Tada, the headlights came back on. I drove her the rest of the way home happy to be in one piece, but with a very large dent in the door.

From that point on the car never started by turning the key again. For a while we took a screwdriver across the solenoid and basically hotwired the car. As you can imagine we quickly realized that it looked as though we were trying to steal our own car. So we ran 2 wires from the solenoid to a button we tucked neatly behind the ashtray to get around having to open the hood.

Our friends loved our super cool way of starting our car. Stick the key in the ignition,open the ashtray, and push the magic button. Worked almost every time.

Never Shut It Down.

The Ink Pen That Changed My Life

2011-02-23T20:41:00.002-06:00

9 years ago I had just finished nursing school and had aspirations of becoming a nurse anethestitist, CRNA. I needed ICU experience, but the hospital I worked at in Tulsa, Oklahoma didn't have an ICU.

I drove about 100 miles round trip to work each day and had plenty of windshield time to listen to the radio.

I kept hearing ads about a hospital system in Minnesota, Fairview, who was recruiting nurses, offered amazing wages, and even had a sign-on bonus.

Why would a hospital in Minnesota recruit nurses in Oklahoma? Good question. I later found they had gone through a nursing union strike and found the strike buster nurses from Oklahoma were well trained and flexible.

After hearing the radio commercial 100 times, I was intrigued enough to stop by and talk to them. Upon meeting them they gave me a wonderful blue metal twist pen. It's weight and balance in my hand was perfect and the ink flowed perfectly.

I had never even stepped foot in Minnesota and had a hard time imagining actually moving there. Every time I put the thought of Minnesota out of my mind, I would pick up that great pen and start reconsidering. They offered to fly me up for an interview and I countered by asking for a ticket for both my wife and I.

So, the week of Mother's day 2002, we flew to the Twin Cities to check out the hospital. Wow, was Minnesota cold. I interviewed and was very impressed with the Riverside Campus. The HR staff was great, and they even gave me a gift bag (including another pen).

Two months later, we packed a U haul truck, sold the house, and made the 700 mile trip. My wife was 7 months pregnant and my son was 14 months old. We move to a new culture where we knew no one.

Sounds crazy right?

9 years later I am still with Fairview. I transitioned out of direct patient care and into management. I have enjoyed the journey that all started with a radio ad and sweet little blue pen.

Never Shut It Down

Duplication: Security or Wasteful?

2011-02-22T20:57:00.000-06:00

I was checking out Google Reader last night and came across a cool blog. This guy has some great tips on teaching kids about money.

http://frugaldad.com/2011/02/21/10-things-i-want-my-kids-to-learn-about-money/

This got me thinking about how much money I waste everyday. I manage a call center for a large health care system in Minnesota. We often focus on ensuring that our networks and phone capabilities are built with redundancies. This is responsible when you are looking at the potential to loose lives when services go down.

Notice I said when. At some point, the power will fail, someone will dig into your network cable, or you will catch a virus. Redundancies can save time, money, and lives.

What about at home? Do we really need a cell phone and home phone? Are you paying for WiFi in your home as well as on each of your hand held devices? How about this one, top of the line cable and Netflix?

Why are we convinced that we need all of this stuff? Is your data plan on your cell phone a backup to your WiFi network?

Here are a couple of thoughts. Take em or leave em.

Magic Jack: a great solution for a back up home phone. As long as you have high speed internet you can plug it into the back of your computer and tada. You have home phone service for about $20 a year. Beats $30 a month.

4G phones with hot spot: Several phones now allow you to tether your phone to laptops and other hand held devices to share the internet connection. A few, HTC G2 and My Touch G4 actually allow you to turn to phone into a 4G hot spot. So why am I paying $50 a month to Comcast for internet and $30 per month for each phone to have internet? Time to cut something?

Hulu, Netflix, Blockbuster, X-Finity: They all provide some great TV watching. The question is do you really need all of them? Pick one and put the rest of your money in pocket.

It's not like waiting until tomorrow to catch the latest episode of Castle is going to kill you.

Never Shut It Down

Hooked on Google: Getting closer to our dreams five bucks at a time.

2011-02-21T10:05:00.000-06:00

First of all, I found this picture in a Google search this morning. Not sure we want a yellow 67 Mustang, but what a nice ride.

Second, thanks to the Madelyn and the Erekson's for their donations to our dream.

I am hooked on Google. I have a sweet Google phone. The G2 from T mobile comes pre-packed with all things Google. I use Google voice to make free calls through my 4G internet plan along with many other great apps.

The more I get into blogging, the more important Google becomes. They have a sweet free analytic tool that lets me know how many folks come to my page, how long they visit, how they got there, and even what state and city they visit. I am pretty geeky and have become borderline obsessed with checking this stuff out.

Most folks don't leave comments on my posts, so it's tough to decide if you like what I write. One way I try to determine this is by how long you stay on my page. I also look to see which article gets opened most often.

Google also lets (I sure it benefits them more than me) you post ads on your page. The cool thing is that they are often related to what you write. My sons post from yesterday now actually has an ad for the video game he was writing about (Roblox). He will be so excited to see it.

Times are tough. Most of us don't have extra money to spend on Mustang trips or donating money for someone else to have the experience. If you still want to contribute, look for an ad on our page that is interesting. Every time you view one, you have contributed.

Thanks for viewing and for considering.

Never Shut It Down

2 cans and some string or play with the box

2011-02-20T16:30:00.000-06:00

It's absolutely crazy what smart phones are capable of today. We just updated my wifes phone to the My Touch 4G. Two way video, upload pics directly to Facebook, and it works as a GPS device with turn by turn directions. With the new touch screens and Android apps, practically anyone can pull it out of the box and make it do backflips.

She wasn't "looking" for a new phone. Our cat actually helped her out by drowning her old phone in jewelry cleaner (seriously). Pretty sure those two planned the whole thing.

My kids on the hand refuse to talk on the phone. They are "too shy". At least they were until today. They were playing with their hand held walkie talkies and managed to get connected with someone on a ham radio. They have been talking for hours. They can't believe how cool it is. Not sure they realize they could dial the phone and actually choose who they want to speak to.

I am tempted to pull out 2 soup cans and some string (that should knock their socks off).

We may be regressing here. It reminds me of the after Christmas phenomenon of setting the toy aside and playing with the box.

Cool car that reminds me of Roblox (update from my son)

2011-02-20T09:19:00.000-06:00

Cool Car

This car reminds me of the red Ferrari on Roblox. Roblox is an online game with thousands of games, cool cars, and Mustangs.

My plan is to get something kind of close to the car on Roblox......but not made of blocks and much cooler.

We are going to raise money by selling soap, doing lawns maybe, and find money while waling around.

I went to hockey game with my dad and his friend. On our way out we found a dollar bill on the ground. Dad's friend tried to get to it first, but I grabbed it. We are going to trying talking a 3 hour walk or 3 minutes and see what we find.

When we get the Mustang, we are going to fix it up and when I turn 16 I get to keep it.We are going to repaint it pretty soon. I like candy apple red or black with white racing stripes. We might take it to the drive-in movies after we fix it up or at least once it's safe to drive.

Man opens eyes: sees city, and beautiful wife

2011-02-19T21:04:00.005-06:00

Here's the pic. How did I get her?

My wife is a very beautiful woman. When folks look at our family pictures, I inevitably hear "how'd you get her?"

It was pretty funny the first 30 times I heard it. Believe me I know how pretty she is and how pretty I ain't.

So why bring it up now?

My mom is town for the weekend. I have lived in Minneapolis/St Paul Minnesota for almost 9 years and have driven past that big green chair many times. Today we actually went looking for it so we could take some pictures with the kids sitting/climbing/jumping off/on it. The thing is huge and actually pretty cool.

We then headed over to Minneapolis to find the famous spoon and cherry. I actually had to use the GPS in my phone to find it. I didn't even know there was a whole park filled with sculptures and an indoor plant sanctuary that we could wander through for free.

How sad is that? We then managed to find a Cold Stone Creamery downtown (once again had to use the GPS). Hard Rock Cafe, Target Center (Timber Wolves home court), and a bunch of high end stores are interconnected with sky ways that give access to the city. It's a great place that I have not explored nearly enough.

So the day ends, I look back at the memories we captured digitally, and decide I live in a great town I know nothing about, and I have a gorgeous wife.

I wonder how I manage to keep her around.

Man sees high school picture and questions why.

2011-02-18T23:40:00.004-06:00

At the ripe old age of 35, I often think back to my glory days. High school football, chasing girls, and driving fast cars. They are such great memories in my mind. I was in great shape and had the whole world at my finger tips. Seniors 93 Rule!

Who hasn't written that in shoe polish on a car window or spray painted it somewhere the shouldn't have.

So how about a reality check?

Bum Equipment? Wow, what were we thinking? Check out those homemade shorts. Not sure if my eyesight had already started to go, but those puppies aren't cut straight. And whoever heard of cut off sweat pants anyway (believe it or not, I stole these from my older brother because I thought they were cool).

At least I had hair, I guess. Probably should have combed it, cut it, or put a hat on that day.

Hey dude, close your mouth when you are taking a picture. A surgeon I used to work with used to jokingly call me a "mouth breathing mono-synaptic moron". He would quickly follow that up by saying, "and I hope you didn't take that the wrong way". I always laughed, but after finding this picture I am reconsidering his original intent.

All joking aside, these really were great times of adventure, change, and promise. If only I could have dressed a little better.

Never Shut It Down!

Ever Shot Your Brother?

2011-02-18T01:07:00.003-06:00

Seems like every redneck boy I know has shot their brother or cousin with something or another. BB gun, dart gun, spit wad.

At the age of 18 I was building houses with a friend of the family who was a general contractor. He is a great guy who loved to have fun and act crazy.

In fact, one day we knocked off early and headed down to the local hardware store for some pvc pipe, hair spray, and a lantern lighter.

You'll never guess what we made, (I may have been a little premature with the picture) a potato gun.

Yep, you stuff a potato down one end of the pipe, spray some aquanet (this was back in the days when all the girls had the big poofy sprayed bangs) down the other end, add a spark, and out comes a potato at the speed of light.

In case you don't have one, potato guns are a ton of fun. We shot it everything, including road signs from the passenger seat of my 67 Mustang while going 70 mph down a two lane road. If you hit it just right, the sign will actually flop over and almost touch the ground.

After several weeks of fun (aka stupidity), I talked my 11 year old brother into catching one of these hot potatoes with a baseball glove.

Well he didn't actually catch it. He says it curved, I say he closed his eyes. Either way, he took a potato to the stomach at 20 paces. It's a pure miracle that he didn't rupture his spleen or liver or puke up a kidney.

Wow did he have a war wound. That bruise on his stomach had to be as big as and apple and at least as red.

Most redneck stories end up with a "hey y'all, watch this". Ours seemed to always end with "Don't tell Mom".

Never Shut It Down

Plant Food: He's Fun to Snuggle!

2011-02-16T23:21:00.005-06:00

Plant Food

My 9 year old son has had a fuzzy companion since he was born. He was a gift from the OR staff at Muskogee Region Hospital in Oklahoma. "Plant Food" (best name ever, if you ask me) is a 2001 Beanie Baby actually named "Bananas". Plant Food is a little thread bare now from all the love he has received for almost 10 years.

He has been slobbered on, puked on, and is often dressed as Spider Man. The whole family loves this little guy.

The neighbors just had a baby in December. She brought the baby over today for my children to play with. From the sound of it, my kids were instantly in love. My son brought out Plant Food to show the baby.

This got me thinking. She probably doesn't have a Plant Food yet. Well low and behold Amazon had one for $6.00 delivered to my house. Happy birthday neighbor girl. I hope you love Bananas aka Plant Food as much as we do.

At my house, we grew up with "Henry" the stuffed dog. Same thing happened. Henry got ripped up so Mom decided to get us a new one, Henrietta. She was no comparison to Henry.

Anyone out there got a "Plant Food"? Love to hear about it or see a picture.

Luckily we grow out of the comforting toys and into new more acceptable, age appropriate toys like 67 Mustangs.

Never Shut It Down.

Strong work ethic or Workaholic?

2011-02-16T18:57:00.003-06:00

In the Fall of 1996 my dad, older brother and I got a job in Texas building a tank farm. A tank farm is the place where the 18 wheelers load up the fuel to take to the gas stations. My dad and brother are pipe-fitters and often 12 hours a day/7 days a week on projects like these.

My grandpa was an incredibly hard worker too. He had a cattle ranch in Oklahoma that he managed after putting in a full day at a construction job. Almost every picture we have of him includes him in his hard hat. Ride the horse: hardhat, bail hay: hardhat. I have personally seen him drive his 77 Mustang to the middle of the hay field, get out, and jump right on the tractor with his hard hat on the whole time.

What I'm really trying to say is that we are all a bunch of workaholics and like it that way.

Ok, back to my original story. So we are driving our 84 Ford Bronco to Texas when it breaks down. It's dark, probably 10pm (of course we have to be to work at 7am). It's too far to walk the rest of the way and there's no way we're going home.

After failing to find some place to rent a car, one of us has the bright idea to rent a U haul truck. We throw all our crap in the back and roll on down the highway. After a sleepless night and a foot on the floor 55 mph drive, we made it to work just in time.

Nothin says cool like rollin up for your first day of work in a rented U haul truck.

Never Shut it down!

Things I never told my Momma

2011-02-15T19:47:00.005-06:00

Today at work, my boss and I were discussing my plan to buy a 67 Mustang with my son in California or Texas and drive it back to Minnesota. It sounds like a great plan, but the wife has already made a bunch of rules about how it needs to be safe.

At 9 in this state, he's not even allowed to ride in the front seat if there is an airbag. Lucky for me, I guess, these babies didn't come with any of that crap. Pretty sure I'm not getting it home with the standard classic Mustang lap belt and no shoulder harness. This should be an easy $150 fix with a little help from a Mustang parts catalog and some planning.

So my boss says starts talking about the good ole days in Kansas and Montana when he used to ride in the back of a pick-up truck. Been there, done that, and loved every second of it. Not anymore, there might be an airbag back there or something.

This reminded me of all the times I tried to see how fast my 67 coupe would do on the "straight stretches". These were the quarter mile lengths of pavement between the big nasty curves in the very hilly parts of far Eastern Oklahoma I grew up in. She would only do about 110 mph before the front end got too light and the whole car would start to shake. Sounded fun at the time.

Remind me sometime to tell you about the morning I ran it through cemetery fence and knocked over 4 or 5 headstones. What I lacked in common sense I made up for with dumb decisions. It's a miracle there are any original parts left on the car or me for that matter.

Driving wasn't the only dumb things I did. We grew up on a wet weather creek. We used to hunt for cotton mouths by turning over rocks in the creek and then kill them by throwing rocks at them. When we'd get tired of that, we'd eat raw crawdads and drink the water straight out the creek (not sure we even new what E coli was).

I had 3 brothers and two cousins who were always up for a challenge. The cousins once moved off to Kansas. When we went to visit them, we found they had an old barn on the place with a hay loft. Someone got the bright idea to climb up and jump out of the window. We spent the better part of the day risking our necks (wonder what OSHA would say about that). Nobody died. Heck we didn't even break any bones.

I'm not saying I want my kids to do this stuff, but when did kids get so fragile? No sitting in the front seat? Really? Booster seats until there 12? Really?

Just don't tell Momma! and never shut it down.

Nursing: It's not just for girls anymore.

2011-02-14T19:51:00.005-06:00

Six years ago I moved next door to a nice family in St Paul, Mn. The father was a 50 something (not really, he was 49) stay at home dad. He was raising two lovely daughters while his wife provided the income lawyering.

I had no idea it was possible for a man to do the things he did. He not only raised kids, but a huge garden in every square inch of his back yard. Cherry trees, currents, garlic, and loads of tomatoes. He made some seriously tastey pies and even made his own crust (I'm not blaming him, but I did gain several pounds while he lived there).

He isn't a girly man either. He loves to target shoot and reloads his own bullets. He knew more about computers at age 50 than I did at age 31. He fishes and canoes and even drinks a beer now and then.

One of his greatest attributes is that he constantly tries new things and then shares what he learns. In the two years we were neighbors, he taught me to rebuild computers, make soap, and even planted a tomato garden for me in my back yard from seeds he had saved from his own plants.

He has since moved off out East, but makes the 1600 mile drive back 3-4 times a year to check on his parents and aging aunt.

Wait: didn't the title say something about nursing?

Well you'd probably never guess it by last year (at the age of 53) he went back to school to be a Registered Nurse. First semester is in the books. I can't think of a better career for him. As an RN myself, I often was told that men weren't compassionate enough to be nurses, and folks always wanted to know when I would finish my training and become a doctor.

Not sure I ever taught this man anything, but I hope my nursing career may have encouraged him in some small way.

Nursing: It's not just for girls anymore.

Mom for a week almost kills husband.

2011-02-13T19:50:00.005-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, my wife went to visit her family in Arkansas. I stayed behind with my 9 year old son and 8 year old daughter.

My tasks were simple and laid out carefully by my wife. Take care of her babies and don't let anything happen to them.

Each day started with a bribe of doughnuts if we could get ready in time. The kids usually ride the bus each morning and were a little thrown off by their new chauffeur dad. By the end of the week the nice lady a Super America knew us by sight and the biology teacher, who stands guard in the drop off circle at school was wondering why we never brought him a doughnut (we actually did bring him one on Friday).

I would then race off to work from 10am-3pm (can't get much done in 5 hours) hoping continuously that I would not get a call from the school nurse and cut my already short work day shorter.

At 3pm, I ran home, set up my work laptop, and waited to get the kids off the bus. I would then ask the them what they wanted for dinner. Five of the seven nights the reply came "pizza". Of course I now have Pizza Hut on speed dial.

Each night ended with several chapters of "The Land of Elyon" book 2. We managed to read the entire book during my wife's absence. This was the highlight of each day as soft as this may sound, I really enjoyed reading and snuggling with kids.

We sprinkled in a few days of swim lessons, bowling, and trip to the mall for the arcade and carousel. Guess what the ate for lunch at the mall: PIZZA!

This whole 24/7 daddy thing took it's toll on me. Never getting enough work done, always worrying, and missing my wife. If you have read any of my other posts, you know I have been on a diet for about 6 months and have lost 50 lbs. By the time Sunday came, I totally caved on the diet. I ate 8 pieces of pizza and drank a 2 litter of Diet Coke. Wow did that comfort me.

And it really did comfort me until my wife told me her flight was delayed until the epoxy dried on the airplanes engine repair. At that point my stomach started hurting something awful. I actually had to stop twice on the way to airport to throw up.

After a couple of days, I ended up in the ER with a gall stone. 24 hours, three scars, and one gallbladder later I was laid up on the couch recovering.

I have no idea how my wife does it. A week of it almost killed me.

Leaving a Legacy

2011-02-13T10:17:00.006-06:00

I have never liked reading or writing. I did just enough to get by in school and basically planned to quit writing as soon as I got out.

So why am I suddenly writing a blog post every day?

A few weeks ago, I got some shocking news. A doctor that I worked with 10 years ago took his own life. He was super smart, graduated at the top of his medical school class, and from my perspective had it all going for him.

After learning of his death, I Google searched his name. I was shocked to find almost nothing. No academic papers, newspaper announcements, nothing. I wanted to read what he had been working on. I wanted to know what he thought was important and what he had accomplished in his life.

I needed some kind of closure.

This got me thinking. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow on the way to work, what will I leave behind. Of course I have a beautiful family, a house, and good career (at least in my mind), but I have been away from my hometown and extended family for 8 years now. I assume someone might want some closure too.

This tragedy has left a lasting impression on me. I want to live life to the fullest and document some of it along the way. I also have a renewed urgency to make my mark on the world. I realize this may be selfish, but having a lot of folks at my graveside isn't enough. I want folks talking about me long after I'm gone.

Good or Bad, my thoughts will be here for all to read and remember.

Never Shut It Down

Inexpensive Romantic Last Minute Valentine's Idea

2011-02-12T20:07:00.004-06:00

Ok guys. If you are anything like me, you may need a little help in the gift idea/romance department. Call me (add your adjective here), but this is sure to get some sparks going on Valentine's day.

The good news, even if you're reading this on the 14th, is that most of this stuff is probably in your cupboards at home.

You will however need at least 10 minutes to prep and set this up.

Step one: Hand, foot, body scrub.

One of the most simple and refreshing scrubs can be made with 1/3 cup of brown sugar, 1 tablespoon of honey, and 1 tablespoon of oil (I prefer olive or soybean which is what most inexpensive cooking oil is made of). Mix these three ingredients in a small bowl and set it beside your bathtub. Later, you will gently scrub your partners hands, feet, back, and body. The brown sugar is an exfoliate (gets rid of dry skin) and the honey locks in moisture.

Step two: Hope to heck you have some powdered milk squirreled away somewhere. If not make a mad dash for the store.

Prepare a warm bath and add about a cup of powdered milk while it is filling. The water will turn milky and you may have small clumps of powder floating in the tub. The milk bath is loaded with lactic acid that will make her skin soft.

Step three: Scrounge around for some candles, even if you have to use the decorative ones that sit on the mantle and have never been lit (she will probably forgive you).

Step four:
Light the candles turn on some soft music and bring her on in.

As she soaks in the tub, feel free to rub the clumps of powdered milk on her back it's a great exfoliate. Then break out the scrub you made and rub her hands, feet and back. It is a little scratchy so be gentle at first.

Can't take you any further than this, but trust me, the night will take care of itself.

Clawfoot bathtubs: A thing of the past or extravagant luxury?

2011-02-12T01:33:00.006-06:00

Roughly 10 years ago, I attended a home show at the Muskogee Oklahoma Mall. I came across a man who had two beautiful clawfoot bathtubs.

After a little discussion, I learned that he sandblasted the outside, cleaned are repaired nicks and scratches on the inside, and then sprayed the tubs with a special epoxy paint.

I became very interested in this and quickly learned that folks really liked these tubs. As I drove around the small towns in Oklahoma, I began to see these in fields (used as water troughs for horses). I managed to purchase a couple of them and asked the gentleman I met at the home and garden show to restore them for me.

I placed an ad in the paper and quickly sold my tubs for around $500. I then went out looking for more tubs and began to plot the beginnings of a business. I sold several more and even hand delivered one to Dallas Texas.

Over the next several months, I became buried in homework for nursing school. I ran out of steam with my limited marketing experience and the venture died. I currently have 30 of these old tubs (lots of sizes and brands) stored in a field.

I used to dream of owning a small bed and breakfast with a side by side, his and hers clawfoot in every room overlooking the lake. Couple that with a relaxing massage or facial for the wife, a full day of water skiing or hiking, and finished off with a nice down-home meat and potatoes supper and I would be in heaven.

I would love to dust them off, find a painter, and put all these beauties back to their intended purpose. How great would it be to come home to a nice hot soak in a classic clawfoot tub with a bar of your favorite homemade soap and a glass of your favorite beverage?

Mustang update

2011-02-11T23:33:00.006-06:00

My son has decided he likes the long nose of the 67. He also loves racing stripes as shown in the picture to the left (reminds me a lot of my older brother, dreaming of the paint prior to buying the car or getting it running). It's fun to watch him get excited while looking at cars. We searched Craigslist for Mustangs this evening. He said multiple times "Dad, let's buy that one".

There are subtle differences in the 67 and 68 models. It's fun to be able to spot a Mustang and name the year before you can read it on the license plate cover. The 64 1/2, 65, and 66 are also very similar to each other. We grew up to love these five models, tolerate the 69 and 70 models, and despise all others until the mid 90's. Not sure why we were so snobbish, but we definitely had our favorites.

The new account has been set up with $50 in seed money. My son has been saving his allowance and had $51. He has donated his loot to the pot, and our Wells Fargo money tracker says we are 2% of the way to our goal.

My wife and I had a double date with some friends this evening. He read the blog and asked if he could donate to the cause, to which I responded "why not". Thanks for the advice Kevin. Now to devise a pay pal account and some type of measuring stick to show our progress. Any other ideas on how to get this goal off the ground are appreciated.

2011-02-10T20:31:00.004-06:00

As far back as I can remember, I have loved Mustangs. My Dad had 67 Fastback that my older brother and I used to drool over. When he turned 16, Dad bought a 67 coup for us to share. I fondly remember simpler times and dream of owning one again.

My 9 year old son has also caught the fever. On a recent trip to visit his grandfather in Oklahoma, we took his Mustang for a drive. He was in heaven.

We bought a few Mustang Trader magazines and together dreamed of the day "we" will have our own.

The Plan: Our dreams have evolved over the last few months. We want to create an EPIC experience that we will remember for the rest of our lives. Our goal is to raise between $5000 and $6000, fly to California or Texas, buy a good running 67 that needs some TLC, and drive it back to Minnesota.

From my past memories, driving 3000+ miles in a classic Mustang will mean multiple breakdowns, a lot of walking, and a few overnight stops while we, or the mechanic, tunes us up.

I imagine a day when I sit on the front porch with my grandson on my lap retelling the EPIC story of his dad's Mustang.

I plan to blog our complete adventure, so stay tuned for updates.

Step one: set up account with $50 seed money.

Step two: My son and I will make homemade soap to sell. Please let us know if you would be interested. We will take special orders and can sell mixed batches or even very large batches (around 8 lbs) of your favorite scents.

Simpler times

2011-02-09T19:27:00.001-06:00

Simpler times

My father had a 67 Fastback Mustang with a 390 engine that had been parked under an old post oak tree since we were kids. My older brother and I lived for stories of how fast it would go and how cool Dad was driving it, but when the price of gasoline got too high in the late 70's he put the beauty to pasture for a leaner more fuel efficient Datson.

At the ages of 12 and 13, we spent countless nights dreaming of the Mustang we would someday own. What color we would paint it, girls we pick up in it, and how fast it would go. We finally got our own 67 Mustang Coupe, and truth be told, we spent countless hours and almost every dollar we made just keeping it running. I often joke that we should have spent our money on new sneakers as we got more wear out them from pushing the Mustang than out of its tires.

Those were simpler times. Even as kids we were able to ask enough questions or get enough of our father's or uncle's time to figure out how to get her running. I currently manage several call centers for a large health care system in Minnesota. The parts all seem to move very fast and the rules of the game seem to change daily. I almost can't get enough data on a daily basis to stay up with the game, much less keep ahead of the competition.

The beauty of it is, that's what I love. Dreaming of faster ponies, better paint jobs, and someone to race.

Video Presentation Part 2

2011-02-06T22:12:00.001-06:00

Part 2:

Click link to view video

Rebuilding a Life After Leaving the Mormon Church.

Video Presentation

2011-02-06T20:44:00.002-06:00

Part 1: Presentation of my Masters project.

Click on this link to view the video.

Rebuilding a Life After Leaving the Mormon Church.

Weight Loss

2011-02-06T11:23:00.003-06:00

I visited my primary care physician back in August. I was shocked to see my weight (249 lbs) when I hopped on the scales. I was also less than pleased with my blood pressure. My doctor spoke some very pointed words to my wife "If he doesn't lose some weight, you are going to need to start looking for a new husband".

These all sounded like great reasons to finally eat better and exercise. He referred me to Dr Billington at the weight loss clinic, University of Minnesota. I quickly started a 1200 calorie/day diet and began to see significant results. I have lost 50lbs since August and my blood pressure is now within normal limits.

Dr Billington discussed with me the barriers to my previous weight loss attempts. Upon reflection, my greatest adherence in the past came with accountability to someone else. I decided this could not be my lovely wife as even with the best intentions this at times feels like nagging. We decided that I would check in with his nurse, Mary, once a week. I love telling Mary when I am doing well and hate feeling like I will disappoint her when I do not reach my goals.

Paper

2011-02-05T17:43:00.000-06:00

I obtained my Masters in Organizational Leadership at Saint Catherine University in Saint Paul Minnesota. My project research, paper, and presentation were focused on Rebuilding a Life After Leaving the Mormon Church. Below is a link to this paper.

"Rebuilding a Life After Leaving the Mormon Church"

Leaving the Church

2011-02-05T17:28:00.000-06:00

Choosing to leave the Mormon faith was a difficult decision for me. Little did I know that this was only the start of difficult things to come. I found myself with very few friends, strained family relationships, no religious direction, and a long lonely road ahead.

This blog is my attempt to help others rebuild a life after leaving the Church. There is a never ending supply of negative information "anti-Mormon literature", but very little to help folks who are looking to move away from Mormon culture.